The dictionary definition of the noun states that purpose is – the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
This leads us, humans, to ask the question, “why am I here?” For those of you who know the answer to this question and have found your purpose in life, I applaud you because most people grapple for a lifetime with this.
Before starting my coaching business, I felt a bit lost. That may sound crazy to many because I have a wonderful family and great friends; I am always busy and surrounded by people who love and care for me. But the truth is that this lost and lonely feeling had nothing to do with the actions of others, it came from deep within me. I knew I wasn’t living the life I was born to live. I knew I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose in life. And I had no idea what my purpose was now that my kids were independent.
I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy various jobs in my life: I’ve worked in corporate, education, and the charity sector. But there’s a difference between doing a job because you can and fulfilling your purpose because you want to. It took me until the age of 50 to find my real purpose in life, and more importantly, to summon the courage to go for it!
And it does take courage, it’s not easy to step up and step out, or try something new. Especially when there’s no certainty that you are on the right path, or that things will work out as you hope.
People will question and judge your choices; they will remark on your behaviour and label you. But I can honestly say that the rewards outweigh all of that. I look forward to what I do every day. I’ve found my groove. I’ve discovered my Clan. I am thriving and not just existing in this crazy routine that we call life. And most exciting of all is that I’ve helped numerous women do the same.
What I discovered is that to find our true purpose, we move through various levels of satisfaction in life.
Level 1: Survival – meeting our basic needs of food, shelter, and physical contact.
Read Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Most people in the western world can tick this box.
Level 2: Success – often defined by pleasure, prestige, and/or profit.
Many studies have been conducted and conclude that money and material gain don’t lead to happiness. Reports show that once we reach a certain level of income ($100k) more money does not lead to more satisfaction. Even though we may look more successful on the outside, (bigger house, faster car, etc.) we can still feel unfulfilled on the inside. Why? Because we believe our existence is not significant. Purpose is all about significance.
Level 3: Significance – knowing that one’s life matters.
Significance is not about good looks, money, or status. It’s about living on purpose and living with purpose.
You will know that you are living your purpose in life when you feel that you’re making a positive difference, no matter how small. You will feel fulfilled because you have something unique to offer the world.
Here are my top 10 tips on how to find your purpose in life:
- Play to your strengths. – list all the things you are naturally good at.
- Listen to what others appreciate about you. – what do people come to you for when needing help or advice?
- Share your story. – telling your story via podcasts or writing can support others in their journey and you unwittingly become a leader in that field and find purpose through helping others.
- Start or join a community. – being connected with like-minded people gives us a sense of purpose and belonging in life.
- Know what you don’t want in life. This is just as important as knowing what you do want.
- Don’t be afraid to shine. You won’t be a guiding light for others if you hide.
- Be your true, authentic self. Everyone else is taken 🙂
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. None of us achieve as much on our own as when part of a team.
- Hire a Coach to help you uncover your purpose. Reach out and I will help you.
- Ask yourself questions that lead you to feel fulfilled and on the right track. I have a list of questions I can send you.
So why bother trying to find your purpose in life? Because the benefits are many and wide-reaching.
- Having a purpose reduces frustration; it helps us focus our attention and energy. We become overwhelmed and exhausted when we have too much choice, (types of shampoo come to mind!) When we are in two minds about something, confusion rules. As Alice in Wonderland said, “if you don’t know where you are going then, any road will take you.” In other words, there will be many detours along the way. I’m an expert when it comes to distractions. There are so many things I know I ‘could’ do and want to do and I have so many new ideas, but I’ve learned to pause and ask myself, “will this task move me towards or away from my purpose in life?”
- Living on purpose increases motivation. Your true purpose gives you a motive (a reason why) and this, in turn, drives you to put it into action. Instant energy and enthusiasm bubble up from within. You feel an internal glow. If people judge or criticise it doesn’t pain you because your belief in yourself and your project is so great that you feel stable and on the right track. You light up inside. Friends notice a glow in your eyes and a positive change in your physiology.
- Enjoy a sense of contribution, contentment, and increased confidence. We often have a list of what we want from life, and hence always notice what’s missing. I encourage you to turn this on its head and instead say, what can I offer the world? You will create awareness around what you enjoy, you will appreciate the skills you have rather than focusing on what’s missing and you will find your true purpose.
Initially, people may ask, ‘why are you doing that?’ But soon they will be saying ‘how did you do that?’ And this is your opportunity to be their guiding light.
Here are some of my blogs that talk about LIFE.
