There’s a story many women recognise, even if they’ve never stepped onto Olympic ice. It’s about learning to take back control of your life.
It’s the story of being talented, capable, and disciplined… but feeling like your life isn’t fully your own.
It’s the story of trying to do everything “right,” meeting expectations, and carrying the invisible pressure to be impressive, pleasing, productive, and polished, until one day your body and spirit shout: “Enough!”
Figure skater Alysa Liu lived this in the most public way imaginable. After competing at the 2022 Winter Olympics as a teenager, she stepped away from the sport. In interviews, she’s described needing space for her mental health and well-being, space to grow up, to be a regular person for a while, and to discover who she was outside of competition.
And then something beautiful happened.
She returned, not from fear or pressure, but from a different place: ownership.
Why Alysa Liu’s Story Resonates
From the outside, it’s easy to frame a comeback as grit and ambition. But what’s most powerful about Alysa’s story isn’t the medal. It’s the shift in why she skated. She has spoken about coming back with a clearer sense of autonomy: listening to herself, taking rest when she needed it, and making choices that felt like hers. She leaned into creativity: music, choreography, style, performance. Less “prove it,” and more “express it.”
And in a twist life loves to deliver, when she stopped clinging to outcomes and focused on the joy and honesty of her craft, she found her steadiness again. Whether you’re an athlete, a mother, a leader, a caregiver, a creator, or a woman simply trying to feel like yourself again, this is a lesson worth holding close: when you return to yourself, you return to inner peace, genuine honesty, and personal strength.
Take Back Control of Your Life by Coming Home to Yourself
Many of us were trained (subtly or loudly) to look outward for cues:
- What will make me acceptable?
- What will make me successful?
- What will make me safe?
- What will make me lovable?
External approval is dangerous because it’s never fully yours. It changes depending on who’s watching, who’s judging, and what the culture is praising this week. Alysa’s story reminds us of a gentler truth:
- You don’t have to abandon yourself to achieve.
- You don’t have to shrink to be worthy.
- You don’t have to punish your body to be “disciplined.”
- You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pause long enough to ask: “Does this life belong to me?”
Taking Back Control Can Be Quiet
When people hear “taking control,” they often picture dramatic change: quitting a job, moving countries, burning everything down. But real control is often much softer and more sustainable. It looks like:
- taking one honest breath before saying yes
- letting your “no” be a complete sentence
- eating, resting, dressing, moving, and living in a way that feels respectful (not performative)
- choosing the pace that keeps your nervous system steady
- returning to your talents because you love them—not because they win you approval
Alysa didn’t just “come back.” She came back to herself. And that’s the kind of return any of us can practice.
If saying no is the part you find hardest, you might like my post on the power of saying no and setting boundaries with kindness.
Joy Isn’t a Reward — It’s a Compass
Somewhere along the way, many women learn to treat joy as optional.
Joy is for after the workload.
After the weight loss.
After the kids are older.
After the relationship is fixed.
After the goals are met.
But joy isn’t dessert. Joy is direction.
Joy is how your system tells you: this is aligned.
Joy is how your soul says: this is honest.
Joy is what makes your gifts sustainable.
When you’re living in alignment, effort still exists but it stops feeling like self-abandonment.
A Gentle Practice to Reclaim Your Life This Week
If you want to use Alysa’s story as an invitation, not a comparison, try this:
1) Name one place you’ve been performing.
Where are you doing things to be approved of, praised, or “safe”?
2) Ask: what would my version of ownership look like?
Not a perfect overhaul, just one decision that belongs to you.
3) Take one small action from joy.
A walk, a creative hour, a boundary, a truthful conversation, a rest day. Something that says: “I’m here. I’m listening.”
4) Repeat: my life is not a test.
You’re not here to be graded. You’re here to be alive.
If this resonates, let it be your permission slip to choose what feels like you. Protect your peace. Create with honesty. And let joy lead.
FAQ
How do I take back control of my life when I feel overwhelmed?
Start small. One boundary. One nourishing choice. One honest “no.” Control returns through self-trust, not force.
How do I stop seeking external approval?
Notice where you perform, then choose one action each day that is true for you, even if no one claps.
What’s the difference between self-love and selfishness?
Self-love is self-respect. It helps you show up with more steadiness, clarity, and care, for yourself and others.
If you’d like deeper support, my book Take Back Control of Your Life Now, written in 2019, is available on Amazon. It’s an oldie but a goodie 🙂 https://www.amazon.com.au/Take-Back-Control-Your-Life/dp/0648526801/
