When I was young, it really annoyed me that my mum always pushed me forward to ask for things on her behalf. She’d get me to go to the counter and ask for a refund in the retail shop, ask in the cafe for extra milk for her tea, tell the neighbour there was a problem, or speak on her behalf at events.
As an adult, I am so grateful to my mum because what she unknowingly did was give me confidence in public situations. She used to say, “You’ve got a good Scottish tongue in your head, so use it!” She encouraged me to stand up for myself, even though she couldn’t do it herself. I began to realise the devastating impact my mum’s lack of confidence had on her opportunities in life. Job offers slipped by; she was talked over, and her full potential lay hidden and silent.
Believe it or not, even though I have this confidence, I still get nervous before public speaking, before delivering a presentation, before doing a webinar. Most speakers do! It’s part of the human condition. We are all afraid of being judged, ignored or making mistakes. And what I’ve realised over time is that almost everyone in the audience is glad I’m the one on stage and not them!
It became my passion to help others find inner confidence and not let their fear hold them back. I’ve met so many capable people who have missed out on work promotions or new job opportunities or going on a date because they couldn’t find the courage or didn’t have the skills to step up and speak up.
Once we can let go of our ego, have a wee laugh at ourselves, get passionate about the message we want to share, and realise that the audience is there because they want to be, our whole attitude to public speaking changes. My little mantra is “face your fear and watch it disappear!” Stop giving your doubt so much power, question it, doubt the doubt! It is a mindset thing, along with preparation and practice, of course.
Well Anne that may be easy for you to say, but it paralysis me! I hear you, and I acknowledge it. I respect it, and I truly understand it; I saw it daily with my mum. But I also know it doesn’t have to be that way. Public Speaking is a skill that can be learned like any other. There are practical techniques that speaker use, and once you know how to do them, your whole outlook will shift, your ability will improve, and your desire to share your story will soar.
I’ve just done something I never thought I’d do – I’ve written a how-to book on public speaking. Why? Firstly, because I’ve taught presentation skills for years (and have so much material to share) plus I want to show others that public speaking is liberating and can be fun. And another reason – to stretch myself, to try something new (publishing is not for the faint hearted!)
Who you are now is not who you always have to be. What you are doing now is not what you always have to do. How you think now is not how you always have to think. If you’re ready to step up, speak up, and show up confidently, I can help you, and so can my book Public Speaking: From Stage Fright to Spotlight. It is packed with questionnaires, checklists, and practical exercises to help you shift your limiting beliefs, deal with public speaking anxiety, understand how to build rapport with any audience, craft a compelling presentation or keynote speech, and so much more…
If any part of this resonates with you, reach out, and let’s chat. Book in a time that suits you on my calendar. www.annemckeown.com/contact. Let’s uncover your inner confidence (it’s there!) and get you prepared and excited about sharing your message.
Interested to read some related topics?
