a girl or a woman doing public speech or publicly speaking

Confidence is a Powerful Trait

Confidence is the ability to feel comfortable no matter where you are or what social situation you find yourself in. Confidence means better public speaking, less awkward small talk, more effective networking, and an increased ability to enjoy social engagements. It helps us plow through obstacles, realise our dreams and maintain healthy self-esteem. You might feel great about your abilities and life but struggle at social events.


Do you ever feel nervous about any of the following?

  • Phone Calls
  • Meetings
  • Networking Events
  • Parties
  • One-On-One Conversations
  • Meeting New People
  • Dating
  • Public Speaking
  • Being in The Public Eye
  • Shopping
  • Group Activities


How does a lack of confidence show itself in you?

  • Nervousness
  • Shyness
  • Avoidance
  • Shaking
  • Fidgeting
  • Blanking Out
  • Sweating
  • Pounding Heart
  • Urge to Escape


Preconceived Notions

When you think about the negative thoughts or images you have around social situations, can you identify what exactly it is that makes you nervous about these situations? What negative thoughts do you have?



  • Everything will go wrong
  • People will laugh at me
  • I will say something stupid
  • I have nothing to offer
  • I don’t belong here



Challenge Your Preconceived Notions

Think about all the thoughts or images you listed in the last exercise. Now challenge each of those thoughts by writing down why they are NOT true. Even if you disagree with what you are writing, you are still challenging these negative thoughts.  Negative thoughts create negative emotions and negative emotions produce negative behaviour. By stopping these thoughts and swapping them for a more positive alternative you will feel better and have more positive results.


Situations You Have Avoided

Even the most extroverted of us have given a swerve to an event they didn’t feel confident about. Think about the last year or so of your life. What social situations, events, or one-on-one interactions did you avoid because of a lack of confidence?



  • Dating
  • Networking Event
  • A social event outside your comfort zone
  • A tough conversation



As a result, what did you miss out on?

Examine the events you avoided. What could you have potentially missed out on? Was there an opportunity that could have changed your life?

Would you have been happier and more fulfilled had you taken a chance?



  • Missed out on meeting a potential life partner
  • Didn’t get a promotion because you didn’t speak up
  • Missed an epic night out that your friends still talk about
  • Didn’t get a resolution that a tough conversation may have resolved



What Do You Need to Feel More Confident?

Is there anything you feel you need to change, acquire, or improve to help you feel more confident in social situations?



  • A certain skill
  • More interesting conversation
  • A new haircut
  • A friend to take along



Name one thing you can do right now.

You don’t have to plan every step of your path right now. The important part is to act quickly. The easiest way to do that is to think of a single easy step you could take to address each of your needs.



  • Research how to learn the needed skill – ie presentation skills
  • Find a book about making easy conversation
  • Decide on the new look you want to go for
  • Figure out which friend you want to tag along
  • Hire a coach to help you change your mindset and behaviour



Events or Interactions You Aren’t Looking Forward To

Naming your worries and coming up with a plan to address them is one of the most powerful steps you can take to build social confidence. You will feel much more prepared and ready to rise to any challenge.


Below is a powerful affirmation that you can fill out and use as your own.

Keep a copy of this visible to help you maintain your confidence.


I (name) am ready to embrace social situations. I am (a positive statement about yourself) and worthy of people’s time and attention. I won’t let (your worries about social situations) be an excuse not to live my life to the full.


Social Confidence appears to be about maintaining your cool on the outside, but at its heart, it is actually about examining what’s inside of you and working towards inner peace regardless of the environment you find yourself in.


Becoming more confident in dealing with people might not come naturally to you, so if you’d like help and guidance to build your confidence inside and out, book in a complimentary session with me and I’ll show you how.


What are you waiting for? It is time to step up, speak up and show up with confidence.



One Response

  1. I wanted to express my sincere appreciation for your ability to convey complex concepts with such clarity and simplicity in your book. Your skill in making intricate subjects understandable is truly commendable.

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