Do you know that the language you use every day has a huge impact on your mindset? Plus positive and negative words have different effects on the brain.
Subconsciously our brains automatically respond to threats and negativity, more than positive influences. It is our minds way of protecting us and setting up a defence mechanism.
As a coach, I encourage people to turn negative worries into positive affirmations. When you do this, your communication process improves, and it helps you gain self-control.
To counter-balance our propensity for negativity we must consciously repeat as many positive thoughts, words and feelings as we can. Barbara Fredrickson, founder of positive psychology, discovered that we need to generate at least three positives for every negative uttered.
In relationships, if you say something nasty to your partner, you need three positives to neutralise their opinion of you. Five positives will calm their brain enough to be able to connect with you once more.
Body language and facial expressions also count i.e., a sideways glance, a frown, a roll of the eyes. Thoughts or comments like “I’m so disappointed” or “I’m worried and anxious” or “That’s not what I’d hoped for” bring us down more than we realise.
Positive thoughts and words don’t even have to be rational and will still enhance your sense of happiness and wellbeing and life satisfaction.
Optimistic thoughts and language can help anyone build a better and more optimistic attitude towards life. Positive words and feelings ignite the motivational centres of the brain into action and help build resilience when faced with problems.
A great thing to teach your kids is to engage in positive self-talk regularly. Please encourage them to share fun experiences with others. Learn to savour every positive experience, so that the brain remembers, relates and relaxes.
Use positive and negative words with the right ratio of 5:1.
Choose your words wisely and speak them slowly, acknowledge your brain’s natural tendency towards negativity. The mere repetition of positive words will turn on specific genes that lower overall stress.
With positive thoughts, words and feelings guiding your life, you will feel better, live longer and build deeper, happier relationships with others at home and work.
Make a game of it; every time one of you says something negative, he or she needs to counteract it with five uplifting positives – it’s harder than you think!
Give it a try with your family and notice the difference.
