Self-doubt is the killer of dreams. It prevents us from taking action, going after what we want, pursuing our goals, and developing connection with people around us. Self-doubt can cause us to hold back, depriving others of our uniqueness, generosity, talents, love and everything else we have to give to the world. It is important to learn how to overcome self-doubt.
Underneath self-doubt, there is a sense of insecurity. This is generally related to three main fears: failure, judgment and success (the added pressures it may bring). Each of these fears can cripple our dreams and keep us stuck in life. They cause us to hold back our gifts and rob us of joy in life. Self- doubt can cause us to not act.
At the centre of all these fears is the belief that “I am not enough”. Whether that is smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, skilled enough, young enough, and so on. Time and again I see this belief hold people back, it shrinks them down and keeps them trapped.
At the root of self-doubt are negative memories, and the meaning we attach to those memories, where we tell ourselves we are not enough. To unwire these memories and create a new narrative, we have to go on a journey of healing: a journey of growth, creating new meaning through reprocessing the past. When we reconceptualise the past, we can live more courageously in the present and pursue our dreams and goals. We can achieve greatness!
This is not an overnight process. It takes time; this is a lifelong journey of growing, learning and living. And yes, it can be painful. But it is worth it! The ability to change the way we react to situations in the world is so powerful. We gain the confidence to become the authors of our own greatness!
If we don’t analyse and move on from our past, we allow shame, guilt and mistakes to hold us back, making it very hard for us to find the courage to change and be who we want to be. However, when we finally decide to face our past and start dealing with our current lives and relationships, we can transform in ways we never imagined possible!
Lewis Howes author of The Greatness Mindset wrote this book to help people overcome their fears and self-doubt and live their best life every day. He says, “Mindset is key, even if we achieve our dreams or are incredibly successful, if we have not prepared ourselves mentally for success, we can still fall into traps of self-doubt and fear that hold us back, especially when we tie our self-worth to things going well.”
If we cannot face ourselves internally, it will be incredibly hard for us to achieve greatness. At its core, greatness is discovering our unique talents and gifts, pursuing our dreams, and having a positive impact on the people around us. This is not the same as success. Success is often seen as something that makes us look good as individuals, and can have a selfish element to it. Greatness, on the other hand, is about pursuing your goals and dreams in the service of others: inspiring, empowering and elevating other people and helping them grow. It never leaves you feeling like enough is not enough. It is about “we,” not just about “me”.
This journey starts with the question “Who am I?” Part of answering this question may include letting go of an old identity as we ask ourselves who we want to be and who we are becoming every day in pursuit of our goals and dreams. In fact, based on how we answer this question, we can see what needs to change in our mind to achieve what we want to achieve. This is the first step in my “Reignite Your Spark” online self-paced program. You will learn to develop a greatness mindset that will help you pursue your mission.
Having a community or coach supporting you as you go on this journey is key to its success. It is incredibly hard to do anything alone consistently. However, when you have support and accountability, you are more likely to show up and put in more effort.
Is it time for you to cultivate an environment of self-love, peace and harmony that leads to abundance and greatness? If so, contact me and let’s chat.
