The first half of this year has been a time of huge change and challenge; if I’m honest, it’s been quite overwhelming!
I had an operation that meant I couldn’t enjoy my usual sport. My house flooded during a big storm. A much-needed holiday was cancelled. My beloved dog died. My daughters both moved out of home. Then, just as I was beginning to feel I could find my rhythm again, I fell and broke my wrist, which meant another long wait before I could return to my usual activities.
One positive is that this downtime has given me an opportunity to reflect on my life, identity, resilience, and what it means to keep growing through different seasons.
I share this because I know many people have difficult seasons like this. Periods where life keeps asking you to adjust. Times when your usual ways of coping are not available. Seasons when you feel tired from being strong, even though part of you tells yourself, “Other people have it worse.”
I was saying this and had to stop and coach myself. Because, yes, other people may have more severe challenges. But that doesn’t mean your pain, stress or exhaustion matters less.
Sometimes the most compassionate and honest thing you can say is: This has been hard, and I am still finding my way through.
Let Yourself Acknowledge What Has Happened
One of the first life coaching tools I come back to is simple, but powerful:
Name what is true.
Not exaggerating it. Not minimising it. Not comparing it. Just naming it.
You might say:
“This has been a year of change.”
“I have had a lot to adapt to.”
“I am grieving more than one thing.”
“I miss my old routine.”
“I feel unsettled.”
“I am tired.”
“I am not where I expected to be.”
There is relief in being honest.
Often, we rush ourselves into positivity before we have allowed ourselves to acknowledge reality. We tell ourselves to be grateful, to stay strong, to move on, to look on the bright side.
Gratitude is valuable. Perspective is great. But they don’t need to come at the expense of truth. What I realised is that:
You can be grateful and tired.
You can be strong and sad.
You can have perspective and still need support.
You can know that others have suffered deeply and still honour your own experience.
Acknowledgement is not self-pity. It is the beginning of self-awareness.
Resilience Is Not About Bouncing Back Quickly
We often talk about resilience as if it means bouncing back. But for me, resilience looks less like bouncing and more like slowly finding my feet again. I gave myself a pat on the back for simple things like:
Getting through the day.
Making one phone call.
Accepting help graciously.
Resting without guilt.
Adapting my expectations.
Letting myself cry.
Taking a short walk instead of my usual workout.
Saying, “I am not quite myself at the moment.”
Resilience is not pretending you are unaffected. It is learning how to support yourself while you are affected. It is the quiet decision to keep taking the next small step, even when life feels uncertain or unfair.
When Your Usual Coping Strategies Are Taken Away
One of the hardest parts of injury, surgery or illness is that the things we usually rely on to keep us positive may suddenly be unavailable.
For me, paddling three times a week has always been important. I sum it up in three words: Fun, Fitness & Friendship. It helps me physically, emotionally, and mentally. It is also an important part of my routine. So when I couldn’t exercise in the way I normally would, I had to face the discomfort of slowing down.
That was really confronting.
Most of us have a preferred way of coping: socialising, working, helping others, planning, travelling, exercising.
But what happens when life removes that option? This is where we need to build a wider emotional toolkit. Instead of asking, “How do I get back to normal as quickly as possible?” we might ask, “What support is available to me while normal is not available?”
For me, this included gentle movement, breathing exercises, journalling, meditation, talking to a friend, sitting outside, listening to music, asking for practical help and allowing myself more rest.
Sometimes life invites us, not very politely, to discover new ways of caring for ourselves.
Focus on What You Can Control
During difficult seasons, it is natural to focus on everything that has gone wrong.
The cancelled plans.
The injury.
The loss.
The disruption.
The waiting.
The uncertainty.
But one helpful coaching question is: What is still within my control today?
You may not be able to control how quickly your body heals, but you can follow medical advice, rest properly, nourish yourself, and speak kindly to yourself.
You may not be able to undo a flood, but you can sort one cupboard or ask for help with one task.
You may not be able to bring back what has changed, but you may be able to create a small ritual, honour a loss, or gently begin a new routine.
When life feels overwhelming, small choices matter. They remind us that we are not powerless.
Practise Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism
When things go wrong, many of us become harsher with ourselves.
We criticise ourselves for not coping better. We judge our emotions. We compare ourselves with others. We tell ourselves we should be stronger, more grateful, more positive, or further along.
But self-criticism rarely helps us heal. A more supportive question is: What would I say to a friend going through this?
You probably wouldn’t tell them they were being dramatic. Nor to hurry up and get over it. You wouldn’t minimise their grief or frustration. You might say:
“No wonder you feel tired.”
“That is a lot to deal with.”
“You are allowed to find this hard.”
“Take this one step at a time.”
“You do not have to do it perfectly.”
What if you offered yourself the same kindness?
Self-compassion is not weakness. It is emotional strength. It helps us recover, reflect and move forward without abandoning ourselves in the process.
Let Grief Be Wider Than You Expected
Grief is not only about death or divorce. We can grieve many things.
The loss of an era.
The loss of a routine.
The loss of physical confidence.
The loss of independence.
The loss of the plans we were looking forward to.
The loss of who we felt we were before everything changed.
Sometimes we don’t recognise grief because it doesn’t look like we expected. It may appear as irritability, tiredness, numbness, restlessness, sadness, or a lack of motivation.
If you are moving through a season of change, it may help to ask: “What am I grieving here?”
That question can bring tenderness to places you have been trying to push through.
Create a Gentle Reset
After a difficult time, it can be tempting to want a big comeback. A new plan. A fresh start. A dramatic transformation. But when we are recovering from repeated stress, a gentler reset may be more helpful. This might include:
Choosing one small routine to rebuild.
Clearing one space in the house.
Booking one appointment you have been avoiding.
Reconnecting with one friend.
Taking five minutes each morning to breathe.
Writing down three things you need this week.
Returning to exercise gradually, with respect for your body.
Allowing yourself to begin again slowly.
Moving forward does not have to mean rushing. Sometimes the bravest thing is to rebuild carefully.
Ask Better Questions
When life feels difficult, the questions we ask ourselves matter. Unhelpful questions might sound like:
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
“Why am I not coping better?”
“What is wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just get over it?”
These questions often deepen shame and helplessness.
More supportive coaching questions might be:
“What do I need right now?”
“What is the next kind step?”
“What can I learn from this season?”
“What support have I been avoiding?”
“What is still possible?”
“What am I ready to release?”
“Who am I becoming through this?”
The right questions do not magically remove pain, but they can gently point us back towards hope, choice and self-trust.
Moving On Does Not Mean Pretending It Didn’t Hurt
Picking yourself back up does not mean denying what happened.
It doesn’t mean forcing positivity. It doesn’t mean pretending you are fine for others’ comfort. Moving on can simply mean deciding that, little by little, you are willing to participate in life again.
It might mean laughing without guilt.
Making new plans.
Letting joy return in small ways.
Finding a different form of movement.
Allowing your home to feel safe again.
Remembering your pet with love.
Adjusting to a quieter house.
Letting this chapter shape you without allowing it to define you.
We do not always get to choose what happens. But over time, with support and self-compassion, we can choose how we care for ourselves afterward.
Reflection Questions for Difficult Seasons
If you are moving through a difficult year, a season of change, or a time when life feels overwhelming, you may like to reflect on these questions:
What have I been minimising that actually deserves acknowledgement?
What losses, changes or disappointments am I carrying?
What usual coping strategy is unavailable to me right now, and what else could support me?
What is one small thing within my control today?
How would I speak to myself if I were being truly compassionate?
What might this season be teaching me about my needs, values or boundaries?
What is one gentle way I can begin again?
You do not need to answer all of them at once. Sometimes one honest answer is enough.
A Final Thought
These past few months have reminded me that life can change quickly.
Routines shift. Bodies need care. Homes need repair. Plans fall through. Families change shape. Loved ones leave us. We are asked to adapt again and again, even when we feel we have already adapted enough.
But I have also been reminded that we can begin again.
Not always dramatically. Not always confidently. Not always quickly.
If you have had a difficult season, please do not dismiss it just because someone else may have had it harder.
Your experience matters.
Your tiredness makes sense.
Your feelings deserve care.
And even if you do not feel fully steady yet, you can still be in the process of finding your feet.
One small step at a time.
If you are navigating change, loss, overwhelm or a difficult life transition, life coaching can offer a supportive space to pause, reflect, rebuild and move forward with more clarity and self-compassion.
