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Day: June 12, 2023

Becoming the Best Version of Yourself

Becoming the Best Version of Yourself Making the decision to become the best version of yourself is the first step in achieving any successful goal. Understanding the difference between the Conscious and Unconscious mind empowers us to make that decision. Conscious and Unconscious Mind We can learn how to use the mind to move the body when it’s struggling with motivation. And we can use the body to shift our mindset when feeling stuck. When we get the mind and body working together, achieving our dreams becomes much easier. They should not be treated separately. If one is out of kilter it will have a negative effect on the other. For example, if you are dieting to lose weight, but are not aware of the implications this can have on your emotions, energy and thought process, then it can trip you up and cause you to fail. If you go to see a psychologist but are not eating well and moving your body regularly, then you may struggle to make the changes you desire. We know the brain is an organ that needs to be exercised like any muscle. We used to believe it was static and unchangeable, but now through results of neuro-science studies we know that the brain is adaptable and malleable, it can be changed by the mind and our behaviour. At a recent event (which was recorded and you can watch here) I asked the question, “what is the mind?” That’s a difficult question for most people to answer because we can’t see it or touch it, yet it is there underpinning everything we think and do. As mentioned above, the mind is split into two parts the Conscious Mind which is your decision maker, internal analyser, objective thinking mind. It can only hold one thought at a time and identifies incoming information via the 5 senses. The Subconscious Mind on the other hand runs the body, stores memories, maintains your instincts and is the domain of all your emotion. Do not be fooled into thinking it is ‘less than’ because it is called sub conscious or unconscious mind, it is actually more powerful because we are so unaware of its influence on our everyday life. Overloaded Safety Switch Awareness of the unconscious mind at work, can allow us to realise the battle in our minds: the part that wants to change and the part that resists change. The unconscious mind perceives danger all the time, we are wired for the negative, we have the same reptilian brain now as when we lived in caves. To enjoy calm, we need to teach the mind that we are not in danger all the time. Often we over-react because we missed the bus, we are not actually in danger, but our mind takes us down a negative spiral : now I’m late for work, my boss will be angry, I have no time to buy coffee (so the body is upset now too), I’ll miss my first meeting and be behind with tasks for the rest of the day… It is important to stop this train of thought in its tracks. Realise the unconscious mind is trying to keep you safe. Flick the switch in your mind (even physically do it by flicking your earlobe) Talk to your mind, (yourself) and get back in focus with awareness of your thoughts and your behaviour. Even have a laugh at yourself for being so silly, missing the bus is not the end of the world! Powerful Pictures As soon as we have a thought, the mind creates a picture to make sense of that thought! Often those pictures are negative, and we anticipate everything that could go wrong. We scare ourselves with negative self-talk, which creates a negative feeling, which results in negative emotions and often negative behaviour. We need to turn these pictures around. For example: You see someone running a red light, you think “what an idiot, that’s dangerous, why did he do that?” You are feeling self righteous and annoyed at that person. Your thought creates the language and emotion of annoyance. Imagine if instead, you saw that person run through the red light and thought: “I hope that person is alright. Are they racing to a hospital?” An understanding and positive reaction like this will fill you with feelings of warmth, calmness, and gratitude. It’s exactly the same event/circumstance, but when you view it differently, you react differently and feel more positive! Our Stories No 2 people view the world the same because of what our parents told us, different to each person, teachers, experiences. Twins: One successful and likeable. Other felt like failure, life was against her, unlikeable. I asked, when did she first feel like this? Immediately her subconscious mind came up with the answer. She remembered her first day at kindy when she drew on wall instead of in the book. The exhausted teacher responded aggressively, making her feel small and in that moment the twin’s subconscious mind made the decision to hate authority, and resent her sister as “the good girl”. She carried this ‘story’ throughout her whole life, at university and work there were further clashes and thus she struggled to make her way in life. Her twin sister had a different experience and doesn’t understand her twin’s anger at the world. And the only person suffering is her twin, being so hard on herself and causing her own pain. Talk Yourself into It What you say to yourself is not what you would say to others. “I’m a loser, too tall too small, too etc.” But you are not too anything, you are just YOU. Choose to be the best physical and mental version of YOU and you will find life more enjoyable and more fun. Learn to recognise when the subconscious mind is holding you back. For example, when you need motivation to push through situations eg. It’s raining outside, you want to go to your exercise class but you also want to stay in bed! Talk to yourself and tell yourself how good you will feel if you persist: the exercise, the community, the coffee. Again flip the switch. Go from unconscious to conscious thinking. I tell clients to become a robot! Sounds silly, but robots only do what they are programmed to do. They do not argue, they follow commands. Help yourself by preparing the night before, in the morning, become robotic and get wheels into motion, then the benefits start to sink in and your mindset is changed. You use the body to shift your mental state and vice versa as mentioned at the beginning. It's time to unlearn old habits and negative stories you tell yourself. It’s time to learn new habits and write a new story for future life. Smoking: cold turkey or procrastination. Depends how embedded that pathway is and on degree of addiction, personality. We underestimate what we can achieve in 3 years and overestimate what we can achieve in one year, almost as a way of opting out. Give yourself a break and realise that worthwhile things take time and it’s challenging to push that unconscious mind out of its comfort zone. Commit to a schedule, and take responsibility. Own your decisions and notice how they impact your level of achievement. Ask For Help Everyone has some struggle, most wear a mask and pretend they are fine, look fine, talk fine. But when we show our vulnerability, open up and ask for help, we are rewarded with huge benefits. Don’t try to do everything on your own, reach out and let’s discuss your goals and challenges.

Making the decision to become the best version of yourself is the first step in achieving any successful goal. Understanding the difference between the Conscious and Unconscious mind empowers us to make that decision.   Conscious and Unconscious Mind We can learn how to use the mind to move the body when it’s struggling with […]

© Copyright Anne McKeown

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