Would you like to know how to build emotional resilience?
Most people reply “yes” because when we are in the grasp of strong negative emotions it can seem impossible to build resilience to life’s constant challenges…
…but it is possible, and that’s a thought you should bear in mind if you are experiencing excessive negative thoughts at the moment.
We know that some people give up, while others just pick themselves up, dust themselves down and carry on as if nothing happened.
So what’s the difference that makes this difference?
Coping skills, and anyone can develop them with the help of a coach. Anyone can learn how to build emotional resilience.
Flexibility and adaptation are two outlooks that help people recover from bad situations. Someone who feels entrenched in their negative feelings finds it harder to remove themselves from those feelings and change direction.
Where your focus goes, that thing grows. Being willing to let go, or at least loosen your grip, allows you to change direction more quickly and get back on top of a bad situation.
By seeing negative events in your life as flexible, short term, you can more easily move on. Someone who sees negative events as fixed points in their life, will always feel that disappointment and failure. It’s always there. And they believe nothing they do will change that fact. It’s like adding coloured dye to water and believing it can never be clear again.
On the other hand, those who view negative events as temporary, will be more likely to see the same situation as just a speed bump in life’s rear-view mirror. They will search for a bottle of bleach and add it to the dyed water, dilute with more water, even add white vinegar, or put a lid on that bucket and start afresh.
Don’t dwell on the past, every day offers a new opportunity to choose a new outlook and that’s the first step to building emotional resilience.
Here are a few more tips :
- Be aware of any negative self-talk and stop it in its tracks.
- Face your fears
- Reach out for support, stop trying to do everything yourself
- Choose a resilient role model to follow
- Be willing to learn, grow and adapt
- Find meaning in what you do
- Take time for physical exercise every day
- Help others. You may find they are in an even worse situation than you!
Here’s a video that I recorded last year that you might also find helpful when building emotional resilience. There are plenty more on my YouTube Channel 🙂
A great book on the topic of emotional resilience and how to guard your mental health is Irish GP and Author by Dr Harry Barry