Do you know how to deal with low self esteem? In our society today, it can be hard to feel any degree of self-worth. We are constantly bombarded with the shame of not living up to our own expectations or the expectations of others.
We compare ourselves to retouched images and believe that to be happy we must look, dress or act in a certain way. It’s tough to compete with celebrities and influencers. So many capable women have low self-esteem and negative self-talk and I know because I used to be one of them!
It’s easy to give into these negative voices, listen to them and allow them to take root inside your head. It’s easy to fall into a spiral of shame, feeling like you will never be good enough or able to live up to what society deems as worthy.
I’m here to help you to escape this pattern. I’m here to encourage you to quit the spiral of self-sabotage and be happy with who you really are at your core.
Here are a few tips on how to increase your self-esteem, love yourself and enjoy life more.
Stop comparing your life with others.
Although this can be hard, comparison is one of the surest ways to find yourself in a state of low self-esteem. It is so important to remember that no two individuals are alike; we all think, feel and act in different ways. In fact, the law of the brain is diversity – so you really can’t be anyone else but yourself. Stop trying to be a carbon copy of others, instead be an unique you. When you find yourself comparing your life to others, stop those thoughts in their tracks, and instead concentrate on what you love to do and what you have to be proud of in your life. Write your thoughts down in a journal and read them regularly.
Surround yourself with people that love you.
When your self-esteem is low, reach out and ask for help. Speak to a loved one, or good friend. Be open and honest about how you feel. Having someone listen and love you is incredibly therapeutic and can help you gain positive perspective, allowing you to see how much you have to be happy about. Remember, isolation is incredibly damaging to your mental and physical health.
Don’t let thoughts just wander through your mind!
Ruminating on a toxic thought is one of the biggest predictors of low self-esteem, because whatever you think about the most will grow, affecting what you think, say and do. It is important to remember that thoughts change the structure of our brains, which, in turn, affects how we live our lives. It helps to reframe a situation, in other words replace a negative thought about yourself with a positive one. For example, if you feel like you are not smart enough to be successful at a particular task, make a list of all the things you are good at, past successes and things others compliment you on. Do this over three weeks, as it takes a minimum of 21 days to start rewiring a negative thought pattern and replacing it with a more positive mindset.
Choose to step off the treadmill – I went from hosting large online coaching sessions to 1:1 sessions where clients get more of me and we go deeper to solve their problems. I choose to take two mornings away from my business for kayaking, which is wonderful for my mental and physical health. Start investing in building your self-esteem. Give yourself time, relax and recharge your mind and body and watch your self-esteem soar.