Building Confidence

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Last week I wrote about body language and how people can read our thoughts without us saying a word.  I’d like to continue with that theme this week and look at the topic of  Building Confidence.

Did you know that you were not born lacking confidence?  I’ve had clients tell me that they have been shy, awkward and lacking confidence their whole life.  I don’t believe this to be true.

As babies they were confident. They demanded attention, they screamed when they were hungry, they pushed themselves to stand up tall, and talked out loud when they were toddlers until, at some point they were told to sit down and be quiet. Or they were embarrassed by something or someone. Maybe they made an unconscious decision to protect themselves from external influences.

Whatever the reason, we’ve all done at least one of these things and allowed them to knock our confidence. The good news is that your genuine confidence is still there inside.  You just need to open the door and let it out!  Allow that child to once again stand tall, speak up and feel free.  Self-confidence is the belief and affirmation that you are valuable, worthy and capable.  Added optimism helps ascertain our abilities and encourages us to act courageously.

Confidence isn’t just a character trait, it is something that dwells within. Your entire world will change when you acknowledge your inner confidence.  You will enjoy ore when you allow the flow of confidence in your life and through your body. 

With the help of a coach it is possible to remove the negative blocks in your mind that prevent you from feeling confident.

Behaviours that often result due to lack of confidence are : Indecision; Depression; Comparison; Avoidance; A closed mindset; Limited social engagement


Appearing confident is an important part of the puzzle. In NLP one of the guiding principles is to act as if you already have the thing you seek.  If you act with confidence the brain responds accordingly. Repetition of confident behaviour creates new pathways in the brain. Confident people believe themselves to be confident and so they are!  

We can also gain confidence through our physical appearance using make-up, hairstyles and clothing to promote the ‘feel good factor.’  These are wonderful external tools for building  confidence.  I am delighted to have the opportunity to introduce you to Style Coach, Shanley King who will be presenting Wardrobe Reimagined at our Meetup on Thursday 18th June at 7.30pm.  This event is FREE and will take place via zoom. Click here to register and RSVP.  

People pick up on confidence and approach a confident person in a different manner to someone who is shy.  It can be hard work to create conversation with someone who is reserved and lacking confidence.  Rather than being more supportive, unfortunately it can make people more judgemental and sometimes, even frustrated with you.

Don’t lose heart, it is possible to build confidence and like any other skill it can be learned and developed.

You no longer need to be the person others think you are, or the person you were yesterday.  Today is a new day and you can be whoever you wish to be.  If you would like personal help to increase your confidence then click here to book a free chat with me and we will make it happen.





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… because everyone deserves a coach!

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